hey, I'm one of those snobby loser parents!

The worst thing about sending your child to school is that his classmates keep having birthdays, which means that not only are you spending Sunday afternoon celebrating your friends' kids' birthdays, you're now invited to parties for children you barely know, which means lots of small talk with parents you only recognize as so-and-so's mommy.

Griffin with his friends and his birthday waffle at his fifth birthday celebration

This also means that the people you're chatting with don't necessarily know that you're raising your children bilingually.  (Because your kids are off bowling or jumping in the bouncy castle or watching the magician or whacking the piñata, the other guests don't actually hear you speaking French to anyone during the party.)

This, then, leads to an awkward situation that reminds you that not everyone thinks as highly of bilingualism as you and your family and close friends do:

Me: ....early literacy...library...reading...blah blah blah....

Elementary school teacher: ....early literacy...school...reading...blah blah blah....

Me: ....yes, and vocabulary acquisition....blah blah blah

Teacher: ...and what about other languages? Some parents are actually trying to teach their children other languages just 'cause they think it will make them smarter.  Get this: I was at the Erie library and a mom was speaking French to her kids* and one of them bumped into me so the mom apologized to me in English and she had a totally Southern accent which means she's not really French but she speaks it to her family?  Ha, ha!  What a loser!  What a snob!**

Me: Well, in fact, raising your kids bilingually is a true gift to them....blah blah blah....

Teacher: [shrug]

Me, to myself: How is it possible that an elementary school teacher is so dismissive of the idea of choosing to raise children bilingually?

Me, to her: By the way, I'm one of those snobby loser Americans who speaks French to her kids.  Even though we live in northern Colorado.  And guess what: it works!  That little boy over there putting his fingers in his nose and then wiping them on his bowling ball? He's mine.  And he's bilingual.  But not for long: he's learning Spanish in a dual immersion school.  He'll be trilingual.

Teacher, removing pied from bouche: Oh, that's great!  I still don't understand how and why you're doing that, but hey, whatever floats your boat!

Me: And how many languages do your children speak?

Teacher: Just one--English, naturally.

Me: Hmm.  Pity.

Teacher:  I myself speak only one language.

Me: Hmm.  That figures.  Pity.   If you'll excuse me, I see my bilingual boy grabbing his crotch, so I'm going to take him to the toilettes.  Lovely chatting with you--au revoir!

So, does this make me a snob?  (As Miss Piggy once said, "What, pretentious?  Moi?!")  Maybe.  But a loser?  Most definitely not.  My kids are the winners.

mon champion

*I never go to the Erie library, so I can guarantee that she wasn't talking about my family.

**Okay, she didn't actually use those words.  But her tone did!